Here we go! I'm continuing to do my review of Season 1 of the podcast. I wanted to revisit what I shared way back when to see whether my perspectives have changed. This is my take on Season 1, Episode 2 four years later ...
This episode, "Getting Honest with Ourselves," was part 1 of a 3-part series on core values.
Knowing which values I want guiding my life is still an important practice for me. My number one core value then was honesty, and that still stands today, four years later.
As I mentioned in the episode, being honest with myself has compelled me to make some pretty big life changes, like leaving my first career and the city to live more of my life in nature, where I knew I was truly happiest.
[UPDATE (Sept 2024): I recently unpublished my Season 1 episodes, except for my guest episodes, a decision I didn't take lightly. I'm happy I have these reflections to capture the important parts of the episodes, and also trust that the content I want to keep will get integrated into future episodes.]
Over the past four years, I have continued to make some pretty big moves based on my honest self-revelations. Those changes have led to me letting go of love, examining my relationship with alcohol, and most recently exploring polyamory.
I feel like my body has cultivated a strong sense of knowing that I can do hard fucking things (and that it'll be okay no matter what the outcome), because of all the practice I've had of making big changes based on honesty.
It means that when I'm faced with yet another one of those decisions, the uncomfortable feelings that come along with them don't easily dissuade me from pursuing the honest path.
Another life-long practice I've continued is learning to discern between my voice of intuition (my “gut instinct”) and my voice of fear, which I talk a lot about in the episode.
Noticing what I feel in my body when I’m leading by intuition is really key. I was actually surprised to hear myself talking in this episode about sensing what I feel on a somatic (body) level when I hear the voice of fear.
I didn't know the language of somatics back then, nor was I engaged in any specific somatic practices. But I guess I had learned enough about connecting with my intuition to know that the body is always involved.
I do wonder though if knowing our voice of intuition can take a bit more work: I think it can be easier to discern the intense, emotional quality of Fear Voice. Plus, most of us become more habituated to that fear part of us, because that's what we're generally conditioned to focus on when we grow up.
The more somatic practices I’ve done to get even more deeply in tune with my intuition, the easier it's been to hear that calm voice when fear is trying to run the show.
An important nuance though: Making authentic choices doesn’t always feel calm in that light-hearted, inspiring way. Sometimes there’s still an emotional element to the contemplation – perhaps sadness, anger, or grief. But you can still feel very much grounded in your body as you experience those challenging emotions. Learning to notice and hold this complexity is a wonderful thing!
Also, sometimes our choices in the moment might be restricted by various factors – whether it’s our capacity, resources, lack of privilege, or a global pandemic fucking up our grand plans.
So it’s not to say that every honest decision automatically equates to our most ideal situation as the outcome. Sometimes knowing when to let go of the pieces we can’t control is helpful in giving ourselves the grace to breathe and settle into our decisions, knowing we’re doing the absolute best we can given where we’re at in the moment.
Ultimately, for me, getting honest with myself has been incredibly freeing. Because when I act from that place, I know I can stand by my decisions and actions no matter how people react.
And when I communicate what’s honest for me to others, I can rest assured that they have the information they need to genuinely decide whether they want to engage with me or not.
Yes, in taking that approach, there is a shitload of (false) control you need to let go of. But I know what it's like to live inauthentically and through a facade of what I think people want from me versus leading from a place of what I genuinely have to offer the world – and it's just not worth it.
Where might you need to tell the truth? Can you start with being just a bit more honest with yourself and see where the revelation takes you?
Lots of love, Janice xo
